Everything is sacred...

okay. so i'm doing this beth moore study thing. many of you know that this is really against my nature; i don't like products that mass produce Christianity. i am also a cynic and a pessimist, so this definitely makes it harder. my biggest problem with beth moore studies (before this one) is that they appeared to be cheesy "women of the world...UNITE!!" type things. i actually really only joined this one because jessie marshall told me she had already put my name on the list. i'm free on tuesday nights, so i figured why not? well at first impression, it seemed to be a "women of the world" type bible study. we began with a video. a cute, big haired southern woman was sitting in front of a fireplace on a rug, and about 10 women were sitting around her nodding at her every word. it didn't take very long to get past that. these studies are definitely something from God. He led me to them when i wasn't planning on being there. in her videos, beth really hit home with struggles that i face every day. in the first week of studies, i found that God was using something i didn't expect him to use to clear some of my baggage before i get married. one verse in particular really hit me tonight; i hadn't really ever heard it before. i've read jeremiah, but i missed this..."heal me, o Lord, and i will be healed; save me and i will be saved; for You are the one i praise." - jeremiah 17:14 i've spent so much time dwelling on my past; in that dwelling, i've placed the blame on all those who have hurt and scarred me. but this is the thing: i wronged them as much as they wronged me. until i stop playing the blame game, i will not be able to get rid of the pain inside of me. i need to ask God to help me and heal me.

praise God for all He has done, for all He is doing, and all that He is going to do!!