As a teenager/young adult, I never thought that I would be a stay at home mom one day. Never. I worked at day cares and attempted to study elementary education, and the thought of being with children all day sent shivers down my spine. It's funny how God has a way of changing our plans. He definitely changed mine. Now I wouldn't trade motherhood for anything.
As a mom, my children can drive me up the wall. They cause my blood pressure to rise and my head to pound. And I have wonderful, mostly obedient children. They're wonderful. However, a teething 5 month old and a potty training preschooler who has just found his will can cause me to scream and pull my hair out. My patience dries up quickly, and my outlook goes from sunny to overcast in a matter of seconds. Even now as I type, my daughter screams with no signs of stopping in the near future, and my son complains at having to go play; he'd rather watch a movie. (Since when is going to the toy room a punishment?) I have a hard time getting anything done. When Vera is upset, Conlan is upset. When the kids are upset, I can't function.
I don't say all of this to complain or get sympathy. I know this is normal stuff. A common problem among stay at home moms is the inability to get anything done and the mush-ifying of the brain. (All you English majors out there who I know read this, I apologize for creating my own word there.) This is my point: I need an attitude adjustment most days. When I can't relate to my kids without seeing red, my focus is off. Conlan is at an adorable age right now, but I allow myself to be distracted by the few things he does to annoy me to see it more often. Vera is a gorgeous, easy-going baby, but when I'm upset, she's upset. Basically, by getting worked up about things, I'm shooting myself in the foot. I know.
So what am I going to do about it? After reading Galatians 5 a few weeks ago, I've decided that I want to go, in detail, through the fruits of the Spirit. I have a relationship with Jesus Christ, right? Well, why isn't that consistently impacting my relationship with my family? (I haven't even mentioned Jonathan in all this. He's wonderful, and I allow my frustration with the kids to affect my attitude towards him too often.) I'm not sure when I'm going to start this, but I will start it soon. I want to take a week to go through each "fruit". To be honest, I'm hesitant to start because the first fruit is love, and it's incredibly expansive. I want to share what God shows me on my blog, because everyone stresses about something. We also allow our stress levels to afftect our relationships, whether or not we are married/have kids.
I know there are a few out there still reading...can you leave me a comment if you are? I just want to know that after a few months of silence on my part, there are still some people who want to hear what I have to say. Anyway, it's time for me to entertain my preschooler and comfort my baby. See y'all later!!
Monday, September 07, 2009
Stress Levels
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9 comments:
Hey Kelly! I'm still reading. I've got you on my google reader, so it lets me know when you update, even if it's been awhile.
I'll be praying for you. I really enjoy reading your blog. I appreciate that you write about the frustrating things as well as all wonderful charming things. I feel like it's helping me to be just a little more prepared to be a mother (I've been told you're never really prepared :-) ).
As for making up new words, that's one of the great things about the English language--you're allowed to do that.
Yey for Google Reader. Yey for Annie!! :) Yeah, girl, there is no preparation for motherhood. You can read all the books you want and talk to as many people as you can, but once you are physically holding that child in your arms, you realize that none of it means a thing. You learn as you go. :) I'm glad you like my new word. It's so trendy these days to (ad)verb-ify everything. I think I did it before it was cool though, so I'm good. :D Please forgive my overuse of smiley faces.
I've got you safe and sound on Google Reader too. :) My goodness, knowing that all stay at home moms of young kids experience frustration with their lifestyle isn't nearly as comforting as hearing (or, uh, reading) about it. Maybe I'm certifiably crazy, but your hard days give me a boost to get through my own hard days. I guess it's a little whiff of community from across an ocean. :)
I'm still reading, sweetie! I'm glad you decided to start blogging again, because it's neat to see you put into words some of the things you experience. Some of it we get to talk about, but some of it is better expressed in writing. I can't wait to hear about your Bible study! See you tonight! =)
You know that a lot of people that love you will be checking your blog to see how you and your sweet family is doing. I love to read the trials of raising your young ones, too soon it's over. I'm enjoying watching my Grandson's family. There is a good reason that God gives babies to young people. Did you get the package we sent you? I hope it gave you a little bit of cheer. Grandma Janice or GGJanice
I'm here! I've got you on Google Reader too. =) I don't check it every day, but I do always read all of your posts when I do sit down and check it. =)
i'm still reading! can i say that if i technically just started reading? :-) thanks for sharing. i'll be thinking of you, and maybe be encouraged to start that process myself! sahmoms of preschoolers and babies have to stick together, right?
I read.
I'm back! It's really cool that you are able to blog, to share your heart with Bethany who is across the ocean. That God can use you to encourage others. He has so much for us to learn, doesn't he? You're wonderful, Kelly. You are a good Mommy, and your kids are a reflection of that. ((hugs))
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