The Cool Kids & Time

Today I'm going to hang out with the "cool kids." There's a MOPS playdate today at a nice park (with ducks), and we're going to go eat lunch and play. Part of me feels a little funny going, because the people that showed up at the last playdate were the ones who were hanging out at the pre-registration that intimidated me a little bit. I'm really trying to get past my childish notions, however, and realize that I am, in fact, an adult. Part of me looks at my college years and feels like I'm still stuck in that time. Of course, even after graduating, I was still part of the LeTourneau culture for two and a half years. Engrained deep within me is the thought that I have to be the one to stand out, that my thoughts and likes/dislikes are sane in a world gone materialistic. "Why no, I don't go shopping three times a week." "Why yes, I still do occasionally bake bread from scratch." "School? No, we'll homeschool." In Longview (with so many LeTourneau grads hanging around and other unique people attracted to the slower-paced life), I felt at home. I felt like my characteristics that made me an outcast for so much of my life were welcomed, embraced, encouraged. No, I'm not as unique as I hope to be someday. My two year old (in less than a month!) watches more tv than I would have hoped, and so do I. That is a process we're working on. But my main struggle right now is that I have yet to find moms out there who feel the same way I do about certain things. Most people in Oklahoma spend their Saturdays barbequeing, drinking beer, and watching college football. I know, I know, we watch football too...but there's a big difference between college football and the NFL...right Adriana? (I know you guys are fans of both.) Not that there's anything wrong with spending a Saturday like that, but I don't quite understand it yet. I know that I'm just looking at these new people in the wrong way. Like I said, we're all adults. I can't tell you how many ongoing conversations I've had with Sarah Jo and Amanda about this exact thing. Jo is right where I am right now, and the world may never quite get us, but they will learn to appreciate us for who we are. Amanda was there a few years ago, but instead of changing who she was to fit in, the people she is around now smile at her desire to grow up to be a mermaid. (If you know Amanda, you understand. She's very unique...) All it takes is time.

Time. It's one of the most relative things in the world. As I mentioned, my boy is almost two. I can still see his face when he was first born. He was stubborn from the very beginning. We had trouble getting him to come, then he held on for dear life to the table when he was finally born. The nurses had to pry his fingers from the side so that Jonathan and I could hold him. Anyway, I know that "in no time" I will feel more comfortable with this group of women, who are wonderful, by the way. Some day soon, I hopefully will remember that I am no longer in high school and people are just people. It's okay, and GOOD, for me to have friends with different interests and beliefs from my own. For now, I just have to bide my time (there's that word again!) and let God work in my heart. It's not so easy, but living life intentionally never is. So I plan to go today and just be me. Just enjoy my life for what it is, and if these people don't like it, no big deal! Why does everyone have to like me? (That's a topic for another day...)

I leave you with this. Our piano is electric and has 8 songs programmed into it. Conlan has a growing fondness for Jingle Bells. The piano rolls automatically to the next song, and you get to see Conlan waltz. Enjoy!! :)