Conlan has been throwing fits lately. He screams, yells, kicks, and says, "NO!" over and over again. If you think about me, please pray for me. I am about at the end of my rope, and I'm not quite sure how to fix this problem. It happens pretty much every time I pick him up out of his bed. He's been screaming at this point for about an hour. (He was sent back to his bed after a while.) My head is pounding, my patience is thin, and I am close to tears. Thanks for your prayers.
I guess I really struggle with how firm is too firm, and what should I allow him to get away with? It would seem that at his age with just one child I wouldn't need to pick my battles, but if I do and back down on something I see as important, where do I draw the line? (Most of this, by the way, is basically caused because I asked him to apologize for hitting me, and he refuses. He can say that he's sorry and does all the time unless instructed to.) Help!
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
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Hey! To me, I don't think picking battles means letting them get away with stuff, but deciding what is important to have a rule about. Like it may be annoying for them to take their pillow all over the house, but are you going to disallow it? (This is annoying for me, anyway, especially being pregnant, because I hate going to find their pillow when it's bedtime and if I let them do it they would be glad to waste a bunch of time looking where they never took their pillow... But I am not going to tell them they can't take their pillow out of their room.)
Anyway that was a random example. But I think as far as disobedience or disrespectfulness goes, we need to be consistent. They need to learn to respect and obey their parents.
Hang in there! It is SO worth it. We had our share of battles with Em that have lasted 30 minutes or more (one was almost an entire day). But they turn into such happily obedient kids when they know you really are the boss. It's kind of bizarre, actually. When Em would finally obey, she would be so happy! We haven't had an issue like that in a very very very long time with Em (I can't even remember one) so just be encouraged that if you stay firm now, you won't have to deal with it constantly. =P We only had a handful of those things happen with Em because she finally learned that we would stick it out and she would not win.
I even told her if I let her win, I would be making her lose because I would be teaching her that it was okay to disobey. And we talked about Eph 6, where it says children obey your parents.... and this is the first command with a promise, that it may go well with you and you will live long in the land. Em learned those verses so I would ask her if she wanted it to go well with her and I would tell her I wanted it to go well with her too! And I'd tell her I wasn't going to let her learn that it was okay to disobey and then not receive those promises.
Lainey has been a piece of cake so far. We've had some training sessions to get her to come when we tell her to come, but she hasn't really been difficult like Em was. Maybe it's Em's example or maybe her personality is just different. She's much more go-with-the-flow than Em is.
One thing I remember when I start to get frustrated with them is that it's an opportunity to train them. It's not personal, either, even though sometimes it seems like it. They are born with sinful hearts. They need to realize that they have sinful hearts or they won't see their need for Jesus.
Okay long comment and I have to get ready for dinner, sorry! =P
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